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The Doorman Has A Difficult Choice.

Several weeks ago, I began a series called “Who’s In Your Room.” Check it out, it’s important to read that blog before you read this one.  Who’s In Your Room.

Figuring out who’s in your room is an important element to a successful referral marketing plan or a life plan for that matter.  The key to who’s in your room lies with your doorman.  It is not easy figuring out who you want in your room.  The people I bring in need to raise my calibration. There are two rules:

Rule 1: You have to be powerful, success-focused, and have a strong network.

Rule 2:  Once in, you can never get out.

Today I’m going to talk about Rule 2 and the importance of having a doorman.

So, who is on duty to keep people out of your room?  Do you have a doorman?  Well, of course, we don’t physically have one, at least most of us don’t, but mentally we all do.  We choose the people who we spend time around.  As I continue to surround myself with amazing people, my doorman continues to have higher standards on who gets in.

When I sent out Rule 2,  I received some feedback that it was too harsh; the rule was too strict.

Just to be clear, it is important to try to lift people up.  As you become more powerful, successful, and significant, lift others up whenever possible, but that is not always a realistic or possible expectation.

I had someone challenge me that the rule was not realistic.  I disagreed.  It is very realistic as long as your doorman can also be a bouncer from time to time, because, let’s face it, there are people in your network who don’t really need to be there.  You know, it could be that irritating client who takes up way too much time or one of your friends who has bad habits that influence you or maybe some broken or negative relationships.  You may have to bounce these people.

I am going to an interesting meeting today with 10 business owners.  A few weeks ago, my personal trainer, Day Adeogba, owner of YourDay Fitness approached me about the possibility of building a BNI chapter that would be in the top 1% of BNI chapters in the world.  We had a conversation about what it would take and then he added additional criteria to be involved.  That criteria are that every member would have to achieve a certain score on the Your Day Balance Game, which is a measure of fitness.  He believes that a chapter made up of athletic business owners would be very powerful.  I agree and the 10 others I’m meeting with today agree as well.  This is a great example of how to raise everyone’s calibration.

So, to prevent me from making the difficult choice to turn my doorman into a bouncer, I try to inspire people around me to make the following choices:

Be positive
Be grateful
Make good diet choices
Take responsibility
Be forgiving
Be supportive
Be encouraging
Have joy
Be present

These are just a few; there are many more.  So, how do you bounce someone who is not contributing?  If it is a client, have a conversation with them.  I do this frequently and it is fairly simple.  I say something along these lines,  “Sally Jane, I really appreciate the time that you have  been a client; however, as my business has become more successful, I have found it challenging to support you in the way that you need to be supported and I find it necessary to end our client relationship.  Here is a list of companies that provide a similar product and may be a better fit to help you.”  This conversation could happen with people who are unwilling to commit the time to be successful, or maybe they won’t commit to the training required, or maybe they just have a bad attitude.  Whatever the case, it is a very liberating conversation.

If it is a personal conversation, it can get a little dicey, but the conversation is similar.  Simply tell the person that you have valued their friendship, companionship etc. but you feel that you have grown apart because of (insert reason here).  For me, sometimes the relationship just fades away, and, occasionally, down the road, you will reconnect with them and they have changed for the better and the relationship grows again.

Your  assignment:
1. What criteria does your doorman have to let people in your room?
2. Figure out if there is anyone in your business or personal network that you need to bounce.

These two simple assignments can have a massive impact on your success moving into next year.

Live Powerfully,